When it rains it pours, right?

Today is the first day that Ian and I are both home on a weekday...with no work to go to. I don't like this feeling...the feeling like I should be doing something but can't identify what to do.

Ian was laid off from his job on Thursday, so after mid-August we officially have zero income. Scary does not even begin to describe this horrible situation. We had planned to switch me onto his health insurance through work when mine expired Aug 15, but that is no longer an option obviously. Thank you Dechert! I believe we can both be covered under Temple's student health insurance, though I worry how complete it will be, so Ian is working on setting that up. Great time to be pregnant and entering the third trimester.

I never heard back from the professor that I spoke to about post-docing, so perhaps the pregnancy has scared off another option for me? I am close to giving up on finding employment...with all the unemployed and competitive applicants out there, who would take on somebody with a health condition who will surely be out of work for a few weeks to months? Sucks to say the least.

My friends are being very supportive, but I am not returning the favor to them. I have received a number of very nice emails, but I have not been able to answer a single one of them. I just keep pushing it off...I don't know what to say to anyone. I hate being a downer, so I keep waiting for a better day. It hasn't come yet.

I don't know how everything will work out over the next six months...I cannot even begin to come up with a plan that will work...never felt so utterly helpless and hopeless before. I cannot even begin to imagine how so many other people across the nation are coping with this failed economy...but I also see so many successful people around me. It is hard, because I don't know why we have fallen into the failing category. What did we do wrong? I have identified a number of bad choices, such as having the wedding and acquiring that debt, but neither of us ever imagined that things could go so terribly wrong in a matter of six months.

I just hope something good happens soon. I do not like the doubts and bad feelings that I am starting to have about the pregnancy. I do not regret it, but part of me is kicking myself for the timing of it all. I wish we did not have so many bad things happening during this time, what should be one of the happiest times of our lives.
Marie