Getting tough

Wide awake at 1 am, putting ice on my feet to soothe the swelling and aching.  I seriously don't know what work shoes I can wear or how much standing/walking I can manage tomorrow.  Some of my sneakers don't even fit - now how sad is that? Nothing like this happened with Peanut - so much different.  This really stinks...I can only imagine I may show signs of preeclampsia in the next few weeks - blood pressure is already creeping up and having swelling like never before.  My feet looked alien to me Thursday night/Friday and today my fingers felt like balloons with very frequent numbness.  I keep checking for swelling in my eyelids/face - I read that was a more serious sign to watch out for.  I am going to stop working at 36 weeks (33.5weeks now)-that means I may have to take some leave post-baby at partial pay.  Not sure how that will work out as Ians contract work is completely dried up now and in my mind I am already wondering about the oil bill and other large expenses. Student loans will need to be deferred once again-I hate that.  Gotta just believe things will turn around eventually.
The next few weeks of work are going to be brutal - I have to wrap up as much as I can while completely training someone to cover me while I am out.  The girl is very nice - I don't want to leave her hanging- my boss is not the most supportive person and did very little to train me initially.  
Generally, men just aren't sensitive to how hard pregnancy can be -well, maybe some men are, but none that I know! That definitely includes Ian...in my head, I imagine going through labor and delivery on my own just to see if I could mentally handle that alone.  That sounds bizarre, but I bet I would be okay (maybe better) dealing with that alone.  Perhaps the old days of men waiting in the waiting room would be better for me?  Or having a fully engaged partner would be preferable...don't know the answer to that one.
My dogs (of course) are very supportive...and keep me company during sleepless nights.  I have at least two labs at my feet right now - Naida usually licks my feet during the night.  Sounds gross but it actually feels good (like a strange pedicure- ha ha!). Maybe the labs could be my labor partners?  I'd probably be more relaxed...with a nice cat purring next to my pillow...now that would be soothing.  Franz would have filled that role nicely.  
The ice feels good, but I am no closer to sleep...keep counting down the hours til I have to get up and go to work.  If I could take a sleep aid, I would! My fingers are numb...so that is all for tonight.