Grief and loss

I have been thinking about Hailey pretty much non-stop for the past 24 hours. I feel a tremendous amount of pain and hurt with her loss. I believe I have only felt this kind of grief once before, and though it wasn't a death, it brought about the same range of emotions. Hailey and Ginger helped me get through that other loss, and now the grief seems even worse this time because she is not here to help me. I know that things will get better - they did following the last great loss - but I cannot help but think that Hailey has been such an integral part of my adulthood. I feel a little lost without the old girl. Hailey was the link between that past life and this current life. I do not think I would have found and married such an amazing person as Ian if he did not share my deep respect and love for all creatures. Hailey approved of him, even preferred him to me at times, and I am grateful that he formed such a powerful bond with Hailey, too.
I have been thinking about grief, how it is described as consisting of five stages: shock/denial, anger/guilt, bargaining, depression/sadness, and acceptance. I think they are more like components of grief, and people experience them in any sequence and sometimes without resolution. I, personally, feel like I have felt a bit of each of them in the past 24 hours. I felt a tiny bit of relief (acceptance?) immediately after she died. Her death was peaceful, in our arms, in the grass surrounded by the huge blue sky. She was not stressed or agitated. The vet and nurse were extremely kind people - I could tell that they "get it," that they understand the bond between a human and an animal can be more than just master or giver of food! With only a few hours notice, they were willing to come to my parents to help us and her. I believe Hailey knew it was time, that she was accepting of it. I could not wish a more peaceful death on anyone or anything. I am sorry that we did not have more time. I am angry that I couldn't fix her. Sometimes I wish it were all a bad dream, and that I would hear her huffing or stamping her feet to wake us up in the morning. I really would do almost anything to change this, to have her around for just a little longer. Most of all, I am really sad. All the "stages" of grief, rolled into one big ball of sadness.
I believe that people who cannot see the value of all life, even non-human life, are really missing out on something. Because even through this great pain and sadness, I am beginning to contemplate Hailey's successor. Never a replacement of course, that would be impossible. But I believe if Hailey and I had not been brought together, neither one of us would have had as great of lives as we both have had. There is always another soul to save, whether it be hers or mine!
-Marie