Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Grief and loss
I have been thinking about Hailey pretty much non-stop for the past 24 hours. I feel a tremendous amount of pain and hurt with her loss. I believe I have only felt this kind of grief once before, and though it wasn't a death, it brought about the same range of emotions. Hailey and Ginger helped me get through that other loss, and now the grief seems even worse this time because she is not here to help me. I know that things will get better - they did following the last great loss - but I cannot help but think that Hailey has been such an integral part of my adulthood. I feel a little lost without the old girl. Hailey was the link between that past life and this current life. I do not think I would have found and married such an amazing person as Ian if he did not share my deep respect and love for all creatures. Hailey approved of him, even preferred him to me at times, and I am grateful that he formed such a powerful bond with Hailey, too.
I have been thinking about grief, how it is described as consisting of five stages: shock/denial, anger/guilt, bargaining, depression/sadness, and acceptance. I think they are more like components of grief, and people experience them in any sequence and sometimes without resolution. I, personally, feel like I have felt a bit of each of them in the past 24 hours. I felt a tiny bit of relief (acceptance?) immediately after she died. Her death was peaceful, in our arms, in the grass surrounded by the huge blue sky. She was not stressed or agitated. The vet and nurse were extremely kind people - I could tell that they "get it," that they understand the bond between a human and an animal can be more than just master or giver of food! With only a few hours notice, they were willing to come to my parents to help us and her. I believe Hailey knew it was time, that she was accepting of it. I could not wish a more peaceful death on anyone or anything. I am sorry that we did not have more time. I am angry that I couldn't fix her. Sometimes I wish it were all a bad dream, and that I would hear her huffing or stamping her feet to wake us up in the morning. I really would do almost anything to change this, to have her around for just a little longer. Most of all, I am really sad. All the "stages" of grief, rolled into one big ball of sadness.
I believe that people who cannot see the value of all life, even non-human life, are really missing out on something. Because even through this great pain and sadness, I am beginning to contemplate Hailey's successor. Never a replacement of course, that would be impossible. But I believe if Hailey and I had not been brought together, neither one of us would have had as great of lives as we both have had. There is always another soul to save, whether it be hers or mine!
-Marie
I have been thinking about grief, how it is described as consisting of five stages: shock/denial, anger/guilt, bargaining, depression/sadness, and acceptance. I think they are more like components of grief, and people experience them in any sequence and sometimes without resolution. I, personally, feel like I have felt a bit of each of them in the past 24 hours. I felt a tiny bit of relief (acceptance?) immediately after she died. Her death was peaceful, in our arms, in the grass surrounded by the huge blue sky. She was not stressed or agitated. The vet and nurse were extremely kind people - I could tell that they "get it," that they understand the bond between a human and an animal can be more than just master or giver of food! With only a few hours notice, they were willing to come to my parents to help us and her. I believe Hailey knew it was time, that she was accepting of it. I could not wish a more peaceful death on anyone or anything. I am sorry that we did not have more time. I am angry that I couldn't fix her. Sometimes I wish it were all a bad dream, and that I would hear her huffing or stamping her feet to wake us up in the morning. I really would do almost anything to change this, to have her around for just a little longer. Most of all, I am really sad. All the "stages" of grief, rolled into one big ball of sadness.
I believe that people who cannot see the value of all life, even non-human life, are really missing out on something. Because even through this great pain and sadness, I am beginning to contemplate Hailey's successor. Never a replacement of course, that would be impossible. But I believe if Hailey and I had not been brought together, neither one of us would have had as great of lives as we both have had. There is always another soul to save, whether it be hers or mine!
-Marie
Friday, August 6, 2010
Goodbye Hailey
Watching you go was by far the hardest
thing I have ever had to do. You have
always been such a sweet girl, though
sometimes a little barky and stubborn.
I can remember the day I picked you out
in the DE shelter as if it were yesterday
though it was 11.5 years ago. Ginger isn't
the same without you - you were her best
friend as well as mine. Who will lead the
pack in howling?
We miss you already and are thankful to
have spent so many years with such a
great dog. You were more than just a
dog...you were our family. Love you very
much, big H! I hope you can swim and
bark and chew bones to your hearts content
wherever you are...see you again someday!
I'll scratch your ears and rub your belly!
-Marie
Nice night at home...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Bad news... We have to
Bad news...
We have to put Hailey down either tomorrow or sometime over the weekend....kidneys have stopped working.
We have to put Hailey down either tomorrow or sometime over the weekend....kidneys have stopped working.
Reading her books...
This message (including any attachments) may contain confidential, proprietary, privileged and/or private information. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this message, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the message and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this message or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Shark baby
two more teeth on the way - one of the top ones has broken through and the other is almost through.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)