There must be some defiant gene for stubborn short-sightedness that traces its roots in the Hildebrandt family tree. My paternal grandfather was estranged from his sister for decades...and they literally lived next door to each other. My father and his sister are estranged for the past 10 years or so, and there is no sign of reconciliation in the future. And now the current generation... We just received word today that my sister no longer wishes to host our traditional Christmas dinner nor is she planning to come to either my Mom's nor my house for any of the other holidays. She wants time with her family (um, immediate family that is, as in her, her husband, and her children). She is essentially isolating herself and her immediate family from the rest of us.
Why? Why would anyone want to do this? We (the rest of us "family") must be horrific people. We must not ever come to school concerts, soccer games, or birthday celebrations. We must be causing harm to her children. Surely we are hitting them or calling them names. We must be neglectful, hurtful, or just plain ole mean. We must be ignoring their requests to read a book or help with homework. We must not be any fun at all. Right? Wait, No, we are none of those things. We are the opposite of those things. We laugh, we play, we entertain, we teach. I cannot understand it. From my persective, I do not think it is healthy for my nieces and nephews to not see their adoring Aunt Mer and Uncle Ian or their sole cousin, Annette. I love my nieces and nephews as if they were my own children...even when they are bad and naughty! :)
There are people in this world with no one to care for them. Why on earth would anyone choose to isolate themselves from people (family) that loves them dearly? I cannot fathom this. It angers me. But I also know that I will not continue the cycle of family strife...and so I will wait. I will wait for my sister to realize she has a wonderful family. A family outside of her immediate domain. A family that will always be waiting and ready to offer assistance when needed. We are not perfect, but there is no perfect family in reality.
In the meantime, Annette will continue to play with all her dear "Aunties," those friends of her mommy, the ones that continuously ask about her well being and come to visit this sweet baby of ours. Hopefully she will get to know her cousins, those nieces and nephews that I adore. It would be a shame for her to miss that experience - I know this from experience.
-Marie
No comments:
Post a Comment