Haven't felt like blogging lately...in a funk of sorts these days. For the last couple of days I have been getting pains in both my upper right side (shingles pains?) and also my lower left side (ovarian cyst?). Perhaps too much stress. I was told at work that since I was out on maternity leave during the end of the year review process that it was too late to put in for any merit increase and that I would be getting the standard average increase (cost of living increase - ha, if you could even call it that - how about increase in gas price?). This despite being the top performer in my group... I was also told that any chance of a promotion (to a higher pay grade/title) seems to be connected to a promotion of my counterpart as well (who has been a full time employee for half the time as me). I had hoped that I would see some kind of promotion for the work that I did - I really did do 12 months of work in the 10 months of work of 2011 (maternity leave last 2 months). Just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other...and hope that something turns around quickly (Philly house to sell - highly unlikely - or Ian find a job - who knows anymore) because I think I can finally say we are nearing the end of the line here. Things are going to have to give, in a major way, despite every attempt to keep stalling. I really hate this. I hate the constant worrying, the constant feelings of failure, the feeling of being trapped without a choice, the insomnia at night, losing hope... I am missing out on so much with Chase and Peanut, and then to not be able to enjoy each and every moment that I do get to see them is terrible. I had a 3 day weekend (today is President's Day) and I can honestly say it flew by...stresses me out that I didn't take full advantage of it. No vacation or another holiday in sight...next holiday Memorial Day??? Ugh...
Positives: Peanut and Chase are the best little babies anyone could ask for.
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